It's complicated

I feel like I'm always messing up. I can't find the words to say, or the things to do. I try so hard, but it's never enough. I wish it was all over. My family is a mess, I'm a mess, everything is a mess. I feel myself changing into the person I want to be, and I can't express it. Every time I let myself become who I am, I feel better. But I have a major problem. That person in my head is still there, and won't go away. I think about that person every day, and I have no way to stop myself. It sucks! I wish it would just go away. I am over the real life person, but I want to be over the in my head person too!

Grand Plan

Ok, so simplified- here is my grand life plan.
1) Finish high school
2) Finish college
3) Become a part-time paralegal, while also being a part-time flight attendant
4) Use time from when I am 18 to when I am 21 to get 3 years online towards becoming a forensic psychologist.
5) Move back to Colorado (or maybe Washington... depends) and become a full time paralegal
6) Move into house/nice apartment and get a dog.
7) Finish college to become a forensic psychologist. Hopefully get a job as one (this will be when I am 26)
8) Hopefully get married before then. If not, live as a pioneer for the rest of my single life, and also a forensic psychologist.
  So... what do you think of my life plan? This is my "if-the-new-system-doesn't-come-as-soon-as-people expect" plan.